I’m human which means I have opinions, I have ideas, and I have a vision of how things should be and what they could look like.  I’m also a stereotypical middle child, which means my humanness often looks very, very stubborn. 

And there is nothing that has humbled me and illuminated my stubbornness more than being married. Why? Well, because when it comes to love, you have to be willing to allow your partner’s opinions, ideas, and visions to be a part of the mix. And that’s really hard for a stubborn person.

Even if you’re an ‘everyone’s voice is important’ sort of person and really want to hear others' opinions, it’s still humbling as all get out to put that into action.

Which is probably why, one of the biggest markers of relationship success, is the ability to accept each other’s influence. 

Meaning you’re open to the ideas and opinions of your mate. Now this doesn’t mean you give in even when you see things differently. But it does mean that you see the value in your partner’s perspective and slow down to consider it.

My hope is that you take the opportunity to create some gentleness in your communication, so you have the opportunity to hear AND understand each other’s perspective. That you grow in your ability to see the value of your mate’s ideas and opinions. All the while appreciating the humbling journey of partnership.

Because when you choose to do life with someone, you also have an awesome opportunity to grow, to learn, to evolve, and to flourish… together.

Yours,

-A

P.S. Accepting influence is actually a really cool body of research by the Gottman’s and definitely worth a read. You can find it with a quick Google search. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it as you read and learn more.