How are you holding up?  I feel like I’ve been texting this question over and over to the people in my life this week.  And also trying to check in with myself by asking the same question.

My household is entering Week 5 of “no-school/shelter in place” and each week brings new challenges and new lessons. 

One of the biggest things I’m learning about myself and my family during this process is how we speak and interact with each other when we’re moving through tough emotions.

I tend to be super patient or super irritable when I’m feeling all the feels. I wish I could say as a therapist I had this stuff mastered, but the truth is, I’m always human first.  And I have to really slow myself down and be aware of how I’m showing up to those around me so that I don’t respond out of fear and uncertainty.

As I walked through this last week, I tried really hard to be more intentional with my words and my responses.  I wanted to create the most positive ripple of love around me, in order to offset the fear that seems to be ever present.  Because I truly believe that love is a language and you have to speak it consistently and fluently in order to have emotional safety in your relationship.

We all know (or should by now) that the language of love can feel foreign during times of stress and fear. 

And that’s why my encouragement to you this week, is to speak the language of love to each other. Use this time as an opportunity to become more fluent in compassion, understanding and grace.  How can you be slower to respond and calmer in your reactions? How can you soften your words and be gentle in expressing your needs? How can you breathe and evaluate before you react?  

I know your relationship will benefit from reducing reactivity and increasing softness in your communication.

Because remember….

Love is a language. If you stop speaking it, you’ll forget all of the words.

I want to encourage you to practice speaking the language of love.  The language of gratitude, of intentionality, of risk, of vulnerability, of repair, of appreciation.  I don’t want you to forget all the words.

Save this week’s tip as a way to ensure you have a regular practice in place to stay fluent in the language of love.

Yours,

-A

P.S. If you’re struggling right now, please reach out. I don’t want you to continue to walk in fear alone.  Your relationship is primary to all that you do and I don’t want it to be in a place of suffering as you navigate this hard season.