I have a sharp tongue. 

Thankfully over the years, I have learned to think A LOT before I speak. I still cringe at some of the things that used to come out of my mouth in my younger years. 

I would say I’m still pretty direct and for better or worse, it still gets me into some sticky situations.

The other day, my son was telling me a story about something he had gotten better at… which in truth… he had gotten a lot worse at.  Now I had two choices, I could agree with him and nod along, or I could let him know that in fact, that was not the case.

Well… I choose the latter.  Cringeworthy, right? 

He looked at me with shock on his face and said “Wow Mom, that was mean.”  I of course felt like a monster, but also paused to ask him “Why?”

And what happened next was pretty cool.  A conversation started between the two of us, about whether what I said and how I said it was actually mean, or did it just hurt that I disagreed with him and had some pretty good evidence to do just that.

As you’re hopefully assuming, it wasn’t my words or the way I said it that ruffled him up.  It was that my words were in fact direct and it was pretty uncomfortable for him that I was pointing out some hard truths he was choosing to ignore.

The cool thing about this whole exchange was that it gave my son and me a chance to talk about how we use our words and that we really can be honest with each other… without being mean.  And when we’re honest (and loving) with our words, it actually helps us trust each other more. 

Sure it feels good to hear the things you want to hear, but if the words are not honest or meaningful, you’re losing a huge opportunity in communication.

Now, as I said, sometimes my honesty can be cringe-worthy, but if you take the time…

Not to be mean… AND mean what you say…

You can create a really cool opportunity to develop trust through your honest (and meaningful) communication.

I encourage you to find an opening this week to be intentional with your words, mean what you say… and of course, don’t be mean.

Yours,

-A

P.S. I have a really cool announcement coming in two weeks… so be sure and keep an eye on your inbox… I can’t wait to share more details!