I love a good before and after. A makeover with new clothes and a clean new hairstyle. A home reno show with all new finishes and decor… yes, please! Seeing the complete transformation from start to finish… all in less than 60 minutes… love it!

The problem is that dramatic change, like we all see in home improvement and makeover shows, doesn’t really exist in real life.  Nothing and I mean nothing changes overnight, especially when you’re working to create change in love.

And because change takes time, it can become pretty discouraging when you look for signs of dramatic change in your relationship as an indicator of hope.  

Real change happens over time. It takes lots of work. It takes consistency and dedication.  

The change you want to see and experience in your relationship takes time to stick. It takes trial and error. It takes practice. The real change, that really lasts, is incremental, baby steps, little by little sort of change… not the radical and dramatic stuff that allegedly happens overnight.

So the next time you’re feeling disheartened with the speed of change, check yourself. Make sure you’re setting realistic expectations for how fast change should really be happening. But more importantly, make sure you’re looking for indicators of change in all areas of your relationship. Notice the small and subtle things that are changing over time and you will be able to trust that change is really happening… even if it's not big and dramatic.

You got this.

-A

P.S. If you’re feeling overly discouraged about change happening in your relationship, reach out. I’m here to help you make changes that last.