Over the past 20 years (yes, you’re reading this correctly) I’ve worked with a lot of couples in therapy. Some in immediate crisis, some looking to fine-tune a pretty sweet relationship, and some needing support to figure out ways to stay more connected and in sync.

And no matter the couple, they’ve all asked, at one point or another, what is the deal with date nights and how important are they really?

Do date nights really work? 

Yes, they do.  

They keep the spark alive and create the simple reminder that you’re partners and not just co-managers. They help the two of you step back from all the craziness of life (even just for an hour or two) and remember why you’re choosing to do life together.  Plus, it’s a great way to be creative in how you explore your city or in returning to spots that hold special memories.

But what is the most important thing when it comes to date night? Well, they don’t need to be overthought or overplanned. They don’t need to actually take place at night. And they don’t need to break the bank and certainly don’t need to be overdone. 

Simplicity is really best when it comes to carving out time to spend together.

 Because the more fuss you add to it, the less likely it will happen. Sure it’s nice to get all dressed up and hit the town, but that’s not always realistic… or always fun. And depending on the season of life you’re in or the proximity of childcare resources, you really need to let creativity and simplicity be your guide.

Grab a coffee and run some errands together. Pack a lunch and meet at the park during your lunch break. Find a new recipe to cook together after the kids are tucked away in bed.

Whatever it is, just make it happen. Trust me, your relationship thrives when you have a semi-regular reminder of just how special (and fun) the two of you are together.

Got any creative and fun date night ideas to share? I’d love to hear them. Reply to this email so I can cheer you on along the way.  

Until next week,

-A