​​​​​There is nothing like wishful thinking, of what “could have been”, to really tie you up into knots. If you are like every other couple, the two of you have walked through mistakes and obstacles in the past. Words you wish could be taken back and actions that could be erased from your history. And yet no time machine exists to make this possible.

I get it, hurt still hurts, even years later.

And I’m by no means saying that you should just get over it, but I am suggesting that the rearview look that contributes to blaming the past for where you are now, can create a whole lot of unhealed stuckness (yes, that is a clinical term).

You see, when you blame the past for everything that went wrong, you lose sight of what went right. You lose the opportunity to take the fire you walked through and use it as warmth for the healing ahead.

In short…

You can’t blame the past for the things that went wrong if you’re not also willing to be thankful for the things that went right.

I don’t believe in the “everything happens for a reason” or “something good will come of this” reasoning. In fact, I find these statements to be quite invalidating. 

But what I do believe, is that every experience you walk through presents you with an opportunity. An opportunity that only you can choose how you will use it, grow from it, and most importantly, how you choose to let it define you.

I know that the messiness of love can be downright stomach-turning. I also know that you’re reading this because you see hope and healing as guests to be invited into your home.

I encourage you to look at the past with all of its shades of grey… the hurt and the healing… the pain and the peace… the gory and the grateful. The wrong and the right.

All you have is the opportunity right here in front of you and I do hope you’re choosing it.

Yours,

-A

P.S. If the volume on the past is way too loud and you need support in moving into the healing of the present, please reach out. I’m here to support you.