I have an odd ability to remember dates like you wouldn’t believe. Birthdays, anniversaries, random Tuesdays where nothing huge happened, I got you covered. And it’s not just the date that I remember, but the things that happened that day. I don’t know if I’ve always been like this, but if you need to remember what year we saw a certain concert or what day it was that we had to skip a certain outing because of a random conflict, I’ll be able to fill in the gaps for you. It’s just how my brain works.

My husband’s brain works differently. After 15 years of marriage, I’m still understanding all of the inner workings of his thought processes, but I know we’re different. He can remember plays on the baseball field from a million years ago and funny anecdotes from all of his life’s adventures. 

His date recall is much more in the moment. And this used to drive me crazy. Because I would rattle off what we had going on over the course of the next 10 days, who needs to pick up what kid, and how we could weave in a few more necessities and he’d look at me like I had just been speaking Pig Latin at lightning speed.  He would then take the very reasonable (to him) approach of checking in the morning of to see what was on the docket. 

And it would drive me NUTS!! Because all that effort I had put in 2 weeks ago to specifically line out how today was supposed to look was a waste. We weren’t on the same page… we weren’t communicating effectively and the world had gone haywire. (Not dramatic at all, I know).

The light bulb moment for me was when I realized that I had defined “being on the same page” entirely wrong.

And what a realization it was.

Being on the same page didn’t mean that we processed information the exact same way or remembered information identically.

Being on the same page in love means you accept how differently your brains process information AND still find a resolution or plan forward.

You take the time to sync up, reset and then do it all over again. 

With a lot of grace and compassion.

You got this,

-A

P.S. If you’re struggling to be on the same page or have thrown your hands up one too many times in frustration… reach out. I’m here to help the two of you find your way back to better communication AND better connection.