Empathy is a key component of emotional intelligence. I think it’s also one of the most misunderstood experiences. Probably, because it’s an interaction between both your feelings and your behaviors.

It’s also one thing that many well-meaning folks seem to struggle with. They falsely believe that if they show empathy to each other, especially their partner, then you’re either agreeing that they would feel the same way in a given situation or that you agree you in fact intended to cause the hurt that occurred. Trust me, I see this happen quite frequently in session.

But empathy isn’t agreement or admission of guilt. Empathy means that you understand your feelings and perspective AND your partners.

It means that you can see where the other one is coming from and how they might feel the way they’re describing, even if you disagree with how you would feel in a similar situation.

Empathy doesn’t mean you did the thing, it means you see each other.

And do you know what happens when we can empathize with one another? We get to demonstrate a compassionate response.  And even better, compassionate behavior.  

Truly beautiful things happen when you stop trying to make empathy about agreement and instead embrace what it’s designed for… the ability to see each other in your experiences.

You got this!

-A

P.S. If you’re struggling with empathy in your relationship or being able to see your mate’s perspective, it sounds like now is the time to reach out. I’m here to support the two of you as you work… together.