Is there anything better than independence?

We’re in the middle of a holiday weekend that looks like backyard BBQs, hot days, and fireworks. So much celebrating and gathering going on and don’t even get me started on all the yummy things to eat and drink… I mean who doesn’t love a summer potluck??

But like most things in life… too much of a good thing… isn’t the best.

This is not only true when it comes to too much chips and dip BUT also when it comes to independence.

As much as we celebrate independence AND as much as it’s something that everyone truly deserves… when it comes to love you actually want the opposite. 

Well, not exactly the complete opposite, but stick with me for a moment.

Independence in love means you’re making joint decisions on your own. It means you’re not able to accept care and affection from your mate. It means you might have very little crossover and are living quite parallel to one another.

On the other hand, codependence isn’t so great either. No boundaries, thinking you’re responsible for each other’s emotional well-being. Neglecting interests or friendships outside the relationship… not great either.

So what is the gold standard when it comes to healthy relationships?

Interdependence!

The ability to have outside interests and hobbies that spice up your life. Being able to be vulnerable and nurturing towards one another. Taking responsibility for your words and your actions. Communication. Leaning on one another while also being responsible for your own self-worth.

And that is something worth celebrating.

I encourage the two of you to reflect on your own relationship and see where the two of you lie when it comes to the spectrum of interdependency.  Make sure you’re not too far into the extremes of independence or codependence. 

And always strive to…

Build your relationship based on interdependence.

I believe in the two of you,

-A

P.S. If you recognize that your relationship has become too independent (or codependent); reach out. I’m here to help the two of you get more into the sweet spot of interdependence.