Be Honest About Your Needs

My husband and I are working really, really hard to raise emotionally intelligent kids. I honestly will be quite ok if they never figure out long division or think that the state capitol of Colorado is Dover instead of Denver. I’m confident they will survive in the world without knowing these skills.

But what I want for them so deeply, is to be emotionally confident kids who become emotionally aware teens and young adults and eventually really emotionally connected humans. A mom can dream… right?

And part of this process of working to raise emotionally intelligent kids requires intentional vulnerability on my and my husband’s part.  We have to model healthy resolutions to conflict, we need to show them what it looks like for the two of us to prioritize our marriage and we certainly have to be honest about our feelings, without stressing or leaning on them to be our support system. A balancing act indeed.

One of the tools I’ve learned along the way is to be honest about your needs and your stress levels with those that you are doing life with. Your partner and the littles in your life will be brought in differently when you share your needs and struggles, but they need to be brought in just the same.

The more I’m practicing this in my home, the more I’m seeing it do some pretty magical things. 

When I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed and I ‘power through’, I end up being pretty cranky to those under my roof.

But when I let my kids or husband know that I’m wound up and need a moment to catch my breath or take a step back… they create room for me to do that. They show some pretty cool empathy and understanding and it really goes a long way.

And this is my hope and my encouragement for you this week…

To be honest about your needs and your stress levels.

Give those around you a chance to support you (in developmentally appropriate ways of course) and help model to them what tapping into your support system can really look like.

You got this.

-A

P.S. If you’re struggling with even knowing how to communicate your needs, now may be the time to enroll in the Communication Masterclass. It could be the perfect tool for the two of you to learn or relearn all the things you wished you’d been taught about communication. Now’s the time to create a very cool ripple effect in your family!