I grew up reading the Berenstain Bear books. Mama Bear, Papa Bear, the whole gang.

And, I read them to my kids when they were little, until my husband started complaining about them.

Not complaining about reading to the children, but complaining about the message of the books.

For those of you that aren’t familiar with them, here’s the standard storyline, Brother and Sister Bear get into some sort of mischief, but usually it’s Brother Bear that has stirred it up. Papa Bear comes along to try and help but usually messes it up more or is the real cause of the mistake and then in swoops Mama Bear, who happens to always be right, has always warned or foreshadowed about the mistake she saw on the horizon and always makes it better.

Now a storyline like this every once in a while seems like no big deal, but what happens when most (if not all) of the Berenstain Bear books share this same message? And that is where the complaints started to come from my husband. And I sort of get his point.

Because to always be painted as the unaware, clueless parent OR the always right, rescuer to all avoidable mistakes isn’t fun. And it sure isn’t helpful.

Now I get it, there are some parents who are sadly checked out or have to be ultra-responsible because of what’s going on in their parentship. And I’m by no means discounting how enormously difficult this must be.

But I also believe that as co-parents and partners, we have a great opportunity to build each other up and work as a team. If you are checked out… work on checking back in. If you’re feeling like too much of the parenting burden is on your shoulders, speak up. If you’re struggling with needing to always be right, take a step back and ask for help. Whatever is not working, work to make it better.

Because at the end of the day, you are both the loudest, most impactful example to your children, and the messages you send them, through your words and actions, are going to show them how to be partners AND parents.

Now, let’s all get out there and send some really positive messages to our children and…

Build each other up!

You got this!

-A

P.S. If you’re struggling to build each other up and spend more time breaking each other down, please reach out. I’m here to support in shifting that relationship-altering pattern.