The truth hurts…

If you know much about me, you know I’m a junk tv watcher. I like to say I have the tv watching taste of a 17 year old. Real Housewives, Kardashians, Gilmore Girls, Friday Night Lights. Nothing scary or too suspenseful. Well, I won’t tell you what show I saw it on (because I will just lose more of your favor for me), but I heard a quote the other day that floored me….

The truth hurts one time, a lie hurts 10,000 times.

And never have truer words been said on junk tv.

I mean, what an absolute show stopper. It’s been weeks since I heard it, and it hasn’t left my mind. Because it’s so darn true.

When you tell the truth, it hurts. And hard truths hit even harder. But the lie you tell in place of that hard truth, it hurts and hurts and hurts and hurts….

In some cases it never stops hurting. Or it takes an incredible amount of time, energy and healing to get it to hurt less.

In 21 years (yes I have been doing therapy that long), I’ve never heard someone that has been hurt or betrayed wish they didn’t know the truth. I’ve never heard someone who has discovered their partner’s betrayal feel that discovering the lies on their own was easier than being told the truth. And I have yet to meet someone who thought the truth was too big for them to handle or overcome…if only they had been told it instead of the lie.

Remember, the truth does hurt, but not as much as the lie. Take the time to answer slowly, to be intentional with your words, to share the hard truth, even if it’s going to hurt. I can’t speak for everyone, only those I’ve met and walked with in therapy, but if I’m the voice for those that I’ve worked with, the lie hurts so much more.

I believe in you,

-A

P.S. If the idea of telling the truth is scary or overwhelming, please reach out. I’m here to help you say what needs to be said, even if you’re worried it’s going to hurt.