If it’s important to you, then it’s important to me.

This may come as a shock, but I have different interests than my husband. His hobbies are not my hobbies. Sure, we have crossover in our likes and dislikes, but just the idea of waking up at 4 in the morning to catch a chartered boat to go fishing in the bay all day is my idea of torture. Sea sick, wind burnt, and bored out of my mind is pretty much how that day would go for me.  And I’m sure my husband feels the same way about some of my hobbies. Sure, brunch for 3 hours with my best girlfriends isn’t a hobby, but if it were, I’d excel at it and my husband would likely sit out every invitation.

But if going fishing at 4 am lights him up, then I’m going to cheer him on. If there’s stress at work that makes no sense to me, but my husband is overwhelmed by it, then sign me up. I’m here to listen and support.

My kids trying to describe the latest and greatest detail about some book they’re reading, or a new song they’re into, or the rules for the newest game they came up with their friends, sure thing… I’m interested.

And not because any of it is the most interesting thing in the world to me, but because if it matters to the people that matter the most to me… then it also matters to me.

If what they’re going through, what they are excited about, or what they want to talk about is important to them, then it’s also important to me.

And it goes both ways.  I’ve gotten super into Pilates the last 6 months, and you know who asks me about my classes or lets me try and recreate the crazy moves we did in class… my husband and kids. Not because they really have any idea of what I’m actually talking about, but they listen and are interested, because it’s important to me.  

Make sure you’re taking the time to get excited about what the people in your life are excited about. And remember, if it’s important to them, it needs to be important to you too.

I’m cheering you both on.

-A

P.S. If you’re struggling to find ways to connect, a great place to start is by getting to know more about your partner’s interests and hobbies. Ask questions, get interested, and see how it works to create more connection between the two of you.