Why or Why Not?

Do you remember those years of parenting when your sweet children asked a million ‘why’ questions? I do… because we’re still in them… Lord help me. 

And do you remember the ‘start with why’ or ‘what’s your why?’ phenomenon where before you could dive into a task or set a goal you were constantly being asked to solidify ‘why’ you were setting said goal?

And I’m not here to knock any of these things. I’m just curious about why we’re not talking about ‘why not’.

Because I believe that ‘why not’ can unlock some pretty good stuff.

Answering the question ‘why not’ can often give you just as much, if not more, information than ‘why’ does. 

I really think ‘why not’ is where all of our reluctance, wounding, and rebellion lives. And that’s pretty powerful to uncover.

When you ask yourself why you’re not working on said goal or following through on stated objective, you can usually discover some pretty big reasons that need resolving before you can actually move forward.

Ex:

Why are you not applying the communication tools you’re learning?
Because I’m afraid to fail and make it worse.

Why are you not able to forgive others when you keep saying you really want to?
Because I’m still so hurt and pissed that I’m worried if I forgive them, they’ll do it again?

Why are you not scheduling time to slow down and reconnect together?
Because when I’ve tried it in the past, it didn’t work and I don’t want that to happen again.

You get the point… sometimes being able to start with the ‘why not’ really helps you uncover what needs to be addressed, acknowledged, or soothed before you can move on to the action.

And that is my encouragement to you this week…

To practice asking ‘why not’, instead of ‘why’.

You may discover some really juicy nuggets there.

Until next week,

-A

P.S. I can’t wait to hear what you discover and uncover as you work to ask (and answer) the ‘why not’. I’d love for you to reply to this email and let me know what you learned. I’m here for it.