We drove to my daughter’s softball tournament the other weekend and ended up at my husband’s work. 

Why you ask?

Autopilot.

You see, my husband only works a few blocks from where the tournament was held and the ol’ ruts in the road had us almost pulling into his office instead of the parking lot to the field. Which I’m sure is something we’ve all done a time or two. Taking the well-worn path and being so much on autopilot that you forget where you were intending to go.

The consequences were minimal in this situation. We had a quick laugh, got out of the left turn lane, and continued straight a few more miles. 

But what happens when you do this in your relationship? Over and over again? When you’re on autopilot so much that you don’t even realize you're repeating the same negative habits you had every intention of changing. Or you absentmindedly forget the very clearly stated expectation you swore you were going to follow through on? All because you were on autopilot.

There are big emotional consequences when autopilot takes over in your partnership. Your word stops sounding as trustworthy.  Your actions start leaving negative meaning. Your connection gets disrupted.

So what’s the antidote? Intentionality… and modern technology. Use the resources you have on hand (literally) to create follow-through and consistency.

Told your partner you got something covered? Write it down on your daily to-do list so you don’t forget. 

Decided to implement a new daily relationship habit? Set a recurring alarm on your phone and label it as such. 

I could go on and on, but the point is our brain is wired to fall into habit and run on autopilot. In order to step out of the old and into new, more beneficial routines, you have to be intentional. And the first step to doing that is relying on something outside of yourself to create that reminder TO BE INTENTIONAL.

Bring focus, commitment, and attention to what is important to you and you’ll start to see change happen!

You got this.

-A

P.S. If your relationship has been on autopilot for so long that you don’t know how to get out of parallel existing, reach out. This is exactly what I’m here to help with.