Ditch the Games

We survived our first few weeks of back to school and the main thing I’m hearing from my son as a brand new 5th grader is that he feels old.

The biggest thing that hit him in terms of feeling “old” was being on a different side of the playground… the big kid side. We had to do a quick walk around the playground for him to gather himself before he stood in line to meet his classmates because with tears brimming in his eyes, he kept saying…” I’m not a kid any more Mom, I’m with the big kids now”. To which I lovingly responded, “don’t worry bud, Mom and Dad are grownups, but we still like to have lots of fun, so you’re going to be ok, the fun is not over, I promise”.

And the truth is, I do believe in having lots of fun. I love to laugh uncontrollably, I love to listen to my music way too loud and sing every word incorrectly. I love to say “yes” to countless requests to friends coming over, fort building, and mess-making. Well sort of with the last one, but you get my point.

I’m a grown-up that likes to have fun.

And as much as I love to have fun, I also don’t like to play games. And I’m not talking about Farkel or Skip-bo (those I love).

I’m talking about games that test communication, for no reason but to create power dynamics.

I’m talking about games that set your partner up to guess what you’re thinking and then get scolded for getting it wrong.

I’m talking about games that involve not saying what you mean and/or not following through on what you’ve seemingly agreed to.

Those are games that I’m not in for. And I can say, with great confidence, that these games do not work in your relationship.

The foundation of your relationship is trust and communication and playing games in love DOES NOT enhance trust and communication. When relationship games are played, you don’t know who’s coming, who’s going, or what’s going on and you’re left trying to figure out which way is up and that’s TERRIBLE.

So, let’s all join together and embrace being a really fun grown-up that DOESN’T play games in love.

Simply put…

Save the games for the playground.

Keep up the laughter, keep up the silly and keep up the fun, but ditch the game playing in love.

Until next week,
-A

P.S. If your relationship has become plagued with games, tests, and convoluted communication, please reach out! Games do not belong in love and I’m here to help you stop playing them.